Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all of my internet mommy friends out there!
Mother’s Day has come and gone and I’m exhausted.
I’ll have to post some pictures because Andrew was A-flippin-dorable yesterday.
In typical Holly & Lois fashion, our weekend was jam-packed.
On Thursday night, I had about 4-5 hours of sleep after I was reviewing a commercial lease until almost 1 am. That started my need for a long sleep that was never satisfied.
My buddy from law school, Tbot, came into town 10 pm Friday night. We did shopping and running around Saturday while Lois took Andrew to Spie’s house for her daughter’s First Communion party. Lois’ cousin, his wife and their 7 month old son came over for dinner Saturday night. We had chicken alfredo with prosciotto (Lois cooked, of course) and we had steaks (which I overcooked).
After dinner Saturday night, we set about cooking casseroles for brunch the next morning. By midnight, we had our cheesy-potato casserole, a broccoli-egg-cheese casserole (the recipe is for asparagus) and a sausage-prosciotto-egg-cheese casserole ready for baking. I can post recipes if anyone is interested!
Sunday, we hit the ground running. Gave Andrew a bath, cooked the casseroles, did laundry, got Andrew in the car, and were all at Lois’ brother’s house by 11 am in 2 separate cars. Brunch was good, Lois mother was ok but still pushed Lois’ buttons enough to give her another boost of resolve to stand up to her.
I left with Andrew at 2:45 pm to have lunch with my mom and her golf buddies. And didn’t get home from there until 5 pm. Then Lois, uncle came over with his wife and their 12 year old son.
I wandered off to call my grandmother about the time Uncle Pete started telling Tracy about his pro-gun, anti-immigrants, pro-Bush agenda.
And guess what….
I know I’ve been meaning to do it for months, but I never could.
I told my grandmother.
I was on the phone with my grandmother for almost an hour then I told her that I really wanted to share something with her. I think I might have stumbled a little but I told her that Lois had a baby and that I’m adopting him.
I’ll let her put the rest together.
She didn’t freak out. She asked his name and when he was born and we carried about our conversation for another 20 minutes on all different things. At the end, we talked about us visiting them in So.Cal. again, maybe in the Fall and I asked her if she wanted me to send a picture or two to her of the baby. She said yes and that I could even email her.
What a relief. I didn’t think I could keep talking to her on the phone about every part of our lives and not tell her that I have a son. I can’t believe I let it go this long!
I was going to send her a letter back in November and my mother talked me out of it. She told me that I have to do it in person. Then, when my mom was visiting her in April, she announced that she would tell her mother in person – which never happened because for some reason, my brother talked her out of doing it.
I’ll give her time to have it all sink in and see what she brings up in our next conversation. My grandmother is pretty sharp, but she is very politically conservative and prejudiced. I’ve been out to California to visit several times in the past several years and Lois always comes with me. We’ve never talked about it, and I’ve never felt the need to. She accepted us as we were (pretending to be roommates).
I was still on the phone with my grandmother when Lois’ uncle left. It was probably close to 8 pm, and I was exhausted. After some leftover Chinese food, we were in bed by 10 pm.
The boy was cranky and tired after napping a total of about 1.5 hours all day! And after only being down for 30 minutes at 10 pm, he spit out his binky and I broke the “no eye contact rule” when I tried to put it back in his mouth. He thought it was play time and giggled and smiled at me for 5 minutes. Damn, kid, go to sleep!
I woke up at 5 am because of Andrew and really “got up” at 5:45 to get in the shower and get Tbot to the train station. We had a fun visit, and I think she might have been a little overwhelmed with what our ‘normal weekends’ are like.
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Lois tried to tell me that she didn’t do anything for me. She is wonderful in every way, but she’s not quite the present-giving or romantic one by any stretch. She surprised me with 2 cards, one from her and one from Andrew. I actually cried. Then, she got me a desk organizer with all these places for pictures of him – and she got me an hour massage gift certificate!!!! Love you honey!
I think I didn’t pretty well myself in the mommy appreciation category. I’ll have to post some pictures later!
- – -
We keep going back and forth over what we are calling ourselves with Andrew. We’ve talked about Momma and Mommy and other variations. Lately, we’ve been sticking to Momma L. and Momma H. – maybe that’s the winning ticket – who knows.
- – -
In other news, I’m back on the bus y’all. I decided that I am going to start Weight Watchers. No more excuses.
KJand the Kids said,
May 14, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Sounds VERY busy. I’m glad your grandma took the news well. It’s a little more scary because older people seem to hold more prejudice and are set in their ways.
J’s mom is 84 and is a rockstar about our “situation”. Very supportive….better than my mom. We’re lucky that way.
I’m glad you had a good weekend.
Eek said,
May 14, 2007 at 4:18 pm
I just wanted to say how touched I was about your story, particularly about telling your grandma. And how proud I am of you (even though I barely know you). It resonates so strongly with me, especially when I think about a little one coming into our lives (eventually). No more side-stepping issues, no more “pretending” for their sake (or anyone else’s). My one grandma is 96, the other 86…the older one knows (due to another family member telling), the younger one “knows” (without anything being said, but in our 4BR house we only have one room with a bed, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist). Some ask me why it’s so important to have them know, since they are so old and not as much of a factor as parents, siblings, etc. I can’t provide a good enough answer, except to say that it is, to me, important that they know. And for that, I think it’s wonderful that you told her, and I believe deep down in my heart that they (the older generation), as much as we fear their conservatism, are the ones who truly understand the idea of “compassionate conservatism”, and maybe that will be one of the greatest mother’s day gifts of all. Is this long-winded enough? Happy (belated) Mother’s Day! (Sorry for the long comment!!)
Dee said,
May 14, 2007 at 4:46 pm
I’m exhausted just reading your post. Holy hell!
As soon as Riley comes and we get somewhat settled we’re back on Weight Watcher too!
Glad you told your Grandma. Can you believe how relieved you feel getting something like that off your chest?!
Happy belated Mother’s Day to you both!
meg said,
May 14, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Wow your weekend sounds so busy! But, I am glad you told your grandma and that it went so well. Good for you. I am glad that you and Lois had a great mother’s day. You two both deserve it.
holly said,
May 14, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Thanks E. You pretty much hit the nail on the head.
My grandparents on my mother’s side are still alive, although they are both in their late 80s. I’ve had people say to me “why bother? Let them live in their bliss of what they know about you, etc.”
I want to be able to visit them. I want to talk to my grandmother on the phone and tell her about my life and that I’m happy.
I would spend the rest of my life being mad at myself if I didn’t do it.
My grandmother in particular is very close minded. So, I was scared. But I have to say, I still feel so relieved.
I don’t know what to expect next. I don’t know if she’ll get excited about this like her other great grandchildren or if she’ll never mention Andrew again, we’ll see.
Keri said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Congrats on telling your grandmother.
& about what to have your child call you…it’ll come to you!
Alison said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:23 pm
If you need a weightloss buddy, let me know.
I lost 30 lbs this year… I ate MUCH BETTER when I emailed my daily food log to other dieting friends, who returned the favor with their daily food logs.
Now all of my friends are off the weightloss bandwagon and I have been traveling so much for work. I consider it a great achievement if I can come back from a week away and break even, but usually I gain a few.
Anyway, if you want to exchange food logs, let me know…
Denise said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Love the momma L and Momma H
Sara said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:19 am
Sounds like your Grandma took it very well. That’s a hard bridge to cross. What you did took courage and strength. I’m glad that you were honest!
As far as WW, I agree with Alison that sending food journals is helpful. I do it with my sisters and it definitely helps to keep me on track!!
Wendy said,
May 15, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Congratulations on telling your grandmother! That’s some courage!
Stacey said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Happy belated Mothers Day!!! Sounds like you had a hectic but wonderful weekend.