Here’s another “we are not mothers of the year” story. (I think Auntie Suz was horrified when I told her this one)
On Tuesday morning, I ended up taking the day off and brought the boy to my office with me to pick up some work and let people see him. My office is about 40 minutes door-to-door when you take out having to park in the garage and walk for 3 blocks. (This is important later in the post)
We left the house around 8:15 am and I stopped at a DD drive thru to get coffee near work since the boy was still sleeping. Our 30 minute visit turned into an hour and a half. I fed him breakfast, he ate 2 handfulls of cheerios from one of the senior partner, he found chairs to push around the hallways and light switches to play with. All in all, it was pretty successful.
Not long before I was trying to pack him up, I went to change his diaper. He was fairly wet but no poop. I changed him and two more friends stopped by my office while he was sitting on the floor pulling papers out of files. (my office is a file-overloaded pig sty)
As we chatted briefly, the smell hit me. C’mon kid….a big poop 30 seconds after I change your diaper??? Can we work on this timing thing.
I checked the cooler bag where I got the first diaper.
nada.
Went to my car parked out back in the big wig parking lot.
zilch.
Rummaged through the diaper bag. Surely there would be a diaper in the diaper bag.
nothing.
Drove my car to the parking garage to sift through co-worker friend’s minivan for a diaper while minivan friend watched him (along with the cheerio giving senior partner who decided to teach him to throw cheerios which I am still finding around my office).
zero.
Drove one or two blocks around to C*V*S*.
closed.
Got back to the office and commiserated with my minivan friend. She has a one year old. What would she do? He can’t sit in it for 45 minutes, he has diaper rash. I could stop on the way home, but I have to take him out of the car again in 15 degree weather and change him in the back seat.
Since he had done a major poop and a major pee just moments before, we decided that we would chance it and let him go commando. Well, sorta commando.
I took a short sleeve onesie out of his diaper bag and made a makeshift diaper out of it, buttoned up his onesie shirt and put his pants back on. Threw him in the car seat and prayed that he didn’t have another 5-star horrible poop on the way home(he’s been having horrific poops for the last 5 days. I mean landfill material.)
We made it home! Whew.
I ran him into the house, plopped him on the couch and prayed for the best. He was dry. I couldn’t believe it. I reached for the diaper basket under the coffee table.
Nada.
Zilch.
Nothing.
Lois was coming up from the basement and reminded me that she moved it upstairs for the open house. ugh.
I picked him up and let him stand there, holding onto the coffee table, naked from the waist down. Flapping in the breeze.
“Don’t do anything for the next 15 seconds, okay pal!”
I went ran like a bat out of hell to grab a diaper and was back to him in probably 15 seconds.
He was standing in a very large puddle.
But he was smiling!
sigh.
Shannon said,
January 24, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Okay, THAT is a funny story!! Thanks for the laugh. At least he didn’t go in the car seat. That would have been way worse.
KJand the Kids said,
January 24, 2008 at 5:14 pm
ALWAYS. I think it’s that they are flapping free. I’ve never been peed on by my boys like everyone threatens but take a diaper off and BAM !
I’m impressed. you did good mom. I’m glad that you at least had diaper wipes.
can you even imagine.
Oh and the diaper rash HERO of all diaper rash heros. triple paste. It’s a must have for diaper rashes.
amy said,
January 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm
hilarious!
Ky said,
January 24, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Great story! I would have paid money to see the smile on his face!
Dee said,
January 24, 2008 at 7:54 pm
That is too funny! What else could you do? I love that your work was so cute with him.
familiewillim said,
January 24, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I love this story
Thanks for making me laugh 
merr said,
January 24, 2008 at 8:45 pm
HA HA HA HA! That’s awesome! At least he didn’t poop a big one on the floor, right?
byzanicon said,
January 24, 2008 at 8:50 pm
The other day on the way to Isaac’s doctor’s visit I realized that his diaper bag didn’t have any diapers in it. The only one we had was the one on his butt. Luckily we were able to snag a few from the doctor’s office. And … the other morning when he got up his wet diaper was about 4 feet away from his crib on the floor. He had taken off his pajama bottoms and taken his diaper off all by himself and thrown it out of the crib. Luckily it wasn’t a poopy.
I’ll keep that onesy trick in mind!
Wendy said,
January 24, 2008 at 8:59 pm
It really is a great story.
Makes me want to buy you a margarita after that day!
Renee and Janice said,
January 24, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Ha ha!! Great story!!
Sara said,
January 24, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Argh! so close!! by the way, I LOVE this story!!
melanie said,
January 24, 2008 at 11:49 pm
OMG- I can’t stop laughing. Thanks for the laugh! I know it’s not funny during but it sure makes a great story after.
joanie said,
January 24, 2008 at 11:50 pm
OMG!!!
sooo, been there….
j
Stacey said,
January 25, 2008 at 1:31 am
HAHA that’s a great story. OMG running out of diapers has to be the biggest fear i have. I probably overpack the diaper bag when we go out because of it.
Keri said,
January 25, 2008 at 3:36 am
Very creative! You are a proven mama!
That cold air will do it every time.
ELLIE said,
January 25, 2008 at 9:49 am
OMG – that was hysterical…..what a great ad that would be for a diaper company – just too funny
Thanks for sharing it
Peace–Ellie
byrdlady said,
January 25, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Hahaha! Too funny!
meg said,
January 27, 2008 at 6:33 pm
That is pretty darn funny!
rhelly said,
January 30, 2008 at 7:26 am
oh the good times. you know, i read the title, and just had to read it.
there was one time i remember that i had no babywipes and i had to clean poo with a gritty papertowel, plastic bag, paper napkin, etc etc etc. my husband is forever forgetting the wipes containers.