an active child

Not sure how it came about, but we’re now calling the boy “Schmoo”.

It started as Andrew Schmandrew. Now, he’s “Schmoo”.

Schmoo has a cold going on. He’s not been his usually self lately. We’re still not sure what the usual self is.

Let’s just say he’s been more whiney than busy the last 2 days. And we totally caved and had him in bed with us for two nights. I know, I know. We’re undoing all of that hard work to keep him in his crib. Sigh.

I decided that Schmoo could be a money maker for us. Not in the “let’s sell his face on cereal boxes” kind of way, but I have an actual job for him.

“Child Proof” Tester

I’m sure some design engineers for child locks and child proof bottles would be very intrigued by his abilities. I certainly am.

I cannot imagine how many 14 month olds can break a lazy susan child lock, rip the toilet lock off the toilet, take apart a dental floss container, screw open a bottle of mouthwash (we were right there – he didn’t drink any) and try to pull an outlet cover off with a plastic screwdriver all within a matter of seconds. Plus, he’s “this close” to figuring out the child gate. (He’s already pulled down the one that doesn’t screw into the wall)

It’s rather exhausting. And it means that nothing is safe anymore.

It took Lois 6 attempts to take a shower yesterday morning. The toilet lock, dental floss and mouthwash all came into play during this time. Once he pulled the toilet lock off, he tried throwing things from the garbage into the toilet. Then he tried throwing the entire garbage can into the toilet. Then he tried to get at the toilet brush. Ewwwww.

You can’t have him in the bathroom. You can’t leave him anywhere else. You may think his room is child proof. He can find something you didn’t think of. He won’t hang in his room by himself. He will freak out and scream bloody murder if you try to gate him in there. And we don’t want him to hate his room by thinking it’s a trap.

That being said, don’t go calling DCF on us because you think we are letting our kid loose on the bathroom cabinets, filled with medications and cleaning solutions.

We are in this position right now where we don’t want to drill holes into every cabinet in the kitchen and bathroom because we are trying to sell our place. However, we have been moving everything to different locations and leave safe stuff in the accessible places.

Usually, Schmoo goes right to a specific kitchen drawer and stands there pulling everything out and throwing it over his shoulder. Like good parents, we have removed the knives, matches and skewers and allowed him access to the whisks and rubber spatulas. He is getting frustrated because we are also trying to limit his access to the metal measuring cups that he likes banging on the hardwood floor (again, we are trying to sell this place and don’t need any more “Schmoo dents” in the hardwood than are already there).

I am glad that it’s getting nice out and this kid can be outside more. With his busy-ness, he needs to be OUTSIDE! Oh yeah, another new thing is that he now almost can’t stand to be inside and is whiney when he’s not outside 100% of the time. This is going to get old.

We should have known when he was doing cartwheels in utero that this kid was going to be active.