I’m really trying to balance work and life. It’s ridiculous. This weekend, as I was driving home from my office on a Saturday afternoon, I truly almost suffered a big breakdown.
It was about time and money. What else.
I started writing it all out. Writing out what’s in my head. It’s now 5 pages long and I’ve lost 1.6 billable hours this morning.
I’m not going to bore everyone with the budgetary dilemmas and “woe is me” thoughts in my head. I know everyone is struggling lately. I just hit a wall where I feel like I’ve been busting my ass and I guess I expected to see some pressure lifted off another area as a result of my hard work.
The last thing I need to do is take my stress out on my amazing wife who’s busting her own butt to keep everything functioning with the home, the boy and her part time job. And I know how lucky I am to have what I do have. Every time I do feel like this, I mostly need to refrain from the urge to kick myself repeatedly for bitching at all.
I was on the phone with my mother last Monday (at the beginning of a week from hell) and she made a comment about my crankiness. “Why are you cranky! That’s not like you!” Is it not like me?!!? I’m not sure, ask Lois. 
So, I’m trying particularly hard to make sure I am not exuding my stress or crankiness on the outside. And I’m sorry for neglecting my family, friends and blogging pals recently.
On that note, here’s some Shmoo TV. Here is the reason I work hard to keep my family happy and healthy.
This video is 2 minutes long and probably boring as hell for anyone else, but I love it – the Shmoo eating with a big boy fork!
This is a much shorter video, a very quick shot of how quickly this kid moves.
Here he is making Mommy proud
Sonya said,
May 5, 2008 at 5:10 pm
CUTE!
inlocoparentis said,
May 5, 2008 at 5:26 pm
I think I get it. I’m having a similar existential crisis myself. PS: 1.6 hours for five pages sounds extremely efficient to me.
meg said,
May 5, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I understand the crisis mode… I am in one myself preparing for baby to be here. Hope yours gets better soon!
Andrew is adorable and love his videos!
Kerry said,
May 5, 2008 at 6:27 pm
I think everyone is stressing more these days over basics. Unfortunately the president is content to sit back and watch many struggle. Just remember to try and take even 5 mins to yourself. It does make a huge difference.
Shannon said,
May 5, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Wow, he is really good with a fork!! That’s amazing. Erik still prefers to eat with his hands and isn’t that good at getting stuff onto the fork yet. You should teach Andrew to dip stuff! Erik loves to dip and it’s so damn cute.
Sorry to hear you’re having a rough go right now.
Seems like everyone is.
KJ and the kids said,
May 5, 2008 at 7:53 pm
So patient with that fork. I wish someone would clap for me when I ate
Love he one legs it on the scooter. Do you know that is a 2 year milestone. He’s way above the game girls
I’m sorry for the stress. Never feel bad about bitching, it helps get it out. Never keep it in. Now that isn’t giving you permission to go off on your boss, collegues, mother in law, or the mail man….but damn it…..write it all down and post that shit
you’ll feel much better.
Hope it gets better for you soon !
merr said,
May 5, 2008 at 7:53 pm
So glad you posted. I’ve been wondering about you. Sorry you’re having some rough times right now. Things will work out though, they always do!
That’s a great picture!!!
Keri said,
May 5, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Wow – he is getting so big! & he’s so smart! (altho the picture with the big beer bottle doesn’t bode him well…
)
I think your crankiness is valid. Life is stressful!
Big hug!
Clare said,
May 6, 2008 at 12:12 am
Finding balance is a constant isn’t it. I think part of the trick is not to spend to much time beating oneself up about (a) not finding balance (b) being cranky about imbalance! Seriously, I hope you get some opportunities to ‘be’ very soon.
SassyFemme said,
May 6, 2008 at 10:27 am
A week or so ago I had a complete and total meltdown over our budget and money and how much things cost and savings and not being able to take the summer vacation trips we wanted, and, and, and… Poor Fran listened to my meltdown at 11pm on a work night, after she’d fallen asleep (for the first time). I finally passed all of the money handling over to her, it was making me sick.
That picture is hilarious!
Ky said,
May 6, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Stress and meltdowns must be in the water right now. I totally hear you about budget woes. **SIGH** You will get through it – because you are just the type of person who can and does! Thanks for sharing Schmoo with us!
Sara-Village said,
May 6, 2008 at 3:46 pm
I know it’s the hardest thing to do when you are stressed about money and time, but what can you do to take care of yourself? For me, walking my dog helps so much… As far as Andrew… he’s STILL getting cuter!
Angele & Stacey said,
May 7, 2008 at 1:08 am
Sorry about work and money. That stuff always sucks.
Love the videos of Andrew! Wow, he is really gifted when it comes to movement and coordination! Way ahead of his year.
Look at how fast he moves!!! That’s some skill. I predict a Yankees player… 
4thborn said,
May 7, 2008 at 3:25 am
Knowing what to do and actually feeling like you can get it done are sometimes two things that are miles apart. Maybe you need someone to bounce your ideas off of and get you started on relieving the pressures you’re feeling. Figure out one or two things that you REALLY need to either make happen or make go away, then write it down, create a plan. “What’s the plan Stanley?” is the new motto for bringing balance baby! Now, if I could only take my own advice. ; )
Kori said,
May 7, 2008 at 4:42 am
Oh my hell I love that freaking kid…He is too cute!
Sorry about the crisis.. Everything will work out.. It always does.. Keep your chin up and stay positive!
MaMaMia said,
May 13, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I meant to comment on this a while ago. I watched the “fork” video one day at the end of a long work day. It made me chuckle, smile, and put me in a great mood. Thanks Andrew! And thanks Mom, for sharing!
He is awesome.