car.ni.val

June 29, 2009 at 9:58 pm (1)

Thank you everyone for your congratulations! We are so lucky to have such a wonderful blog family! I’ve been catching up on everyone out there in blogland!

I’m very excited about 2 boys! We are nowhere close to discussing names yet. I think we both thought it would be a girl and we would have to argue about whether or not I would allow Lo to name our child “Danica.”

I promise to let everyone in on our short list when we have one. I did present Lo with a list on Friday night and she immediately crossed off the following: Jack, Cole, Chase, Kyle and Brady. This might be a long road, folks.

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First of all, I am not a big fan of carnivals. I definitely love amusement parks and I’m sure I loved carnivals as a kid, but there are so many reasons I just don’t care for them at my ripe old age.

My brother-in-law used to do inspections on these transient carnivals that just appear in shopping mall parking lots. Let’s just say he warned me about the safety factor of the rides.

But, we broke down and brought the Shmoo and his BFF K*den to the carnival that had set up shop about a mile from my house.

(BTW – what a RIP off these things can be. $20 for 20 tickets. We had to have one adult go on a ride with the boys. That’s 9 tickets for 3 people PER RIDE. And I bought a fresh squeezed lemonade for $6.00. Good think Shmoo wasn’t into the stuffed animals. I spent a few $ too many trying to win a Buzz.Lightyear for K-man in one of those impossible games before I gave up and had to explain to a screaming 3 year old that sometimes you just can’t have everything you want – and that my beer pong skills do not cross over into landing a ping pong ball in a 1.5 inch wide fish bowl.)

What up? I’m driving here!

Lo enjoying being the “adult” on the truck ride. Shmoo threw a fit when it ended and he had to get off.

What cracks me up about the Shmoo on these rides is that he loves them, but he’s not the smiling laughing toddler on the ride. He’s the serious looking kid that is taking it all in and usually looking at the workings and arms of the ride rather than smiling for pictures. It’s like he’d rather figure out how the darn thing works instead of actually just enjoying the moment.

Lo got to hold Aunt Suz’ purse while Aunt Suz took the boys on the jalopy ride. I told Lo she looks cute with a purse. Maybe just not that purse. So not her style.

The weekend was jam packed (yet again).

We endured a 2 hour long high school graduation ceremony on Saturday. The Shmoo slept through it. Thank the Lord.

It was a big event. Our (Lo’s) nephew, Michael, was finally graduating and will be joining the Navy in July. We love Michael dearly, but it was a day we thought we’d never see. One of the speakers was reviewing the lives of the graduates and said something about being born in 1991. Lo’s brother and I giggled a little bit and muttered under our breaths “or some of you graduating may have been born in 1989!”

We also had a little brunch at our house Sunday morning in which Shmoo’s little friends came over and tried to play together. We are currently having some issues with toy-over-possessiveness and sharing. But we’re working on it.

They did color well together for about 3-4 minutes.

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anatomy scan

June 26, 2009 at 12:46 pm (Pregnant Holly)

We had an appointment this morning. We’ve been so anxious to find out what we are having.

The doctor listened to the heartbeat and they did a blood draw. She started talking about our next appointment and the ultrasound in 4 weeks.

I could tell that Lo was anxious. She took the morning off to come in with me, so she ended up speaking up.

“Can we have an ultrasound anyway? We’re so anxious to find out what we’re having!”

The doc (who is the cute one that we love most) made a point to say that it might be too early to tell yet, but then she talked to one of the nurses to see if the ultrasound tech was busy.

We were squeezed in and….

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Father’s Day wrapup

June 23, 2009 at 3:02 pm (weekends)

My brother called me on Sunday to wish me a “Happy Dual Parental Role Day” – I thought that was pretty cute.

We celebrated Father’s Day with Lo’s parents (it was also her father’s birthday).

Here’s Shmoo giving Pop-Pop his present from the present store.

And the Shmoo is getting much better at the driving. He thinks he’s an expert now.

Shmoo the talker

He also thinks he’s an expert talker. There are still many things we can’t quite identify. I do know what “sikle staff” is. It means “tickle scratch” where he wants to lay back and have you softly scratch his arms and legs….yes, he’s King Shmoo.

I haven’t quite figured out what “fip bot” means but he usually says it as he stands up on the edge of his bed intending to jump off.

He knows what he’s talking about most of the time, which is scary. He has this unwavering memory. If he wants to go to “Ka-den’s House” at 6 pm, no matter how many toys or distractions and explanations you give over the next 2 hours, he constantly reminds you that he “want Ka-den House”.

He did this the other night asking for a “bat-hoe” (backhoe). We went into his monstrous toy bag and played with 136 different things all night. Throughout, he kept reminding me that he wanted his “bat-hoe”. Closer to bedtime, the “bat-hoe” requests were getting more fervent and dramatic. When I found a little yellow construction truck and handed it to him, he almost hit the roof. “NO!!!! I want BAT-HOE!”

(What 28 month old knows the difference between a backhoe and a bulldozer?)

He also kept trying to tell me that he needed to use the “arpresstor”. This took me a while. (Air Compressor). Apparently Pop-Pop lets Shmoo pretend to fill up his construction trucks with the air compressor. I’m pretty sure I didn’t know what an air compressor was until I was…hmmm….maybe 17.

Potty Training

Not much progress has been made, but he’s actually getting it a little bit. He does very well at day care but has zero interest at home. This weekend, we switched into pull-ups (despite Lo’s protests because they are more expensive) and he actually seems to enjoy being more of a big boy by putting them on and taking them off himself.

We are getting on a better schedule with trying and will stick to the same times that day care gets him to go to be consistent. But I noticed that at home, he will always say “no” when you ask if he wants to go.

So, I’ve resorted to “Mommy is going to go pee-pees on the potty. And Momma is going to go pee-pees on the potty too!” That usually makes him get up and run “Me tooooo!” He refuses to use his little potty and also refuses the potty seat that he picked out. He wants to do the big person potty with little or no help.

And he tries when he gets on there. That’s ½ the battle, right?

This will be the potty training summer. Yippee. What fun this will be!

Shmoo’s Sibling

I’m still not set on a nickname. I’m not sure if I need to know a gender before I assign a nickname or not.

Our next prenatal appointment is Friday and if the baby cooperates, we might be able to find out if Shmoo will have a “baby brodda” or a “baba fissta”. Get in your last minute votes in our baby game!

In your free time, please go check out Jeve’s (John and Steve’s) blog and their Gay Parent Pride Parade!

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the belly shot

June 18, 2009 at 6:29 pm (Pregnant Holly, fabulous photography)

Per my readers’ request, I am providing some recent pictures of the Shmoo. I haven’t been a great mommy photographer lately, but I have caught a few pictures of my little buddy.

Here he is next to his Uncle Joe, Lo’s brother.

He’s trying to emulate everything Joe does. How cute is that?

And every so often, we get a glimpse of this kid where he looks like an absolute adorable little angel.

I can’t believe I’m doing this….

But I was bugged enough about it….

Here I am at 16.5 weeks

I feel like I look just fat in this picture rather than actually pregnant. But it will be nice to see some progress. I do think that the wife is correct, though, I am getting “thick” everywhere!

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16.5 weeks

June 16, 2009 at 4:43 pm (Pregnant Holly, Shmoo news)

It’s not that I haven’t had the time to blog, it’s really that I don’t have the energy. I gotta admit, I’m pretty wiped out.

I had 2 stellar billable hour months at work and I seem to have hit a wall. June isn’t looking so good and I keep waking up in the morning thinking I will have a newfound energy!

Everything seems to be progressing as normal. Our next appointment is not until the 26th. Maybe then we can find out the gender! We’re starting to get anxious.

I don’t know if I ever caught up from my quick trip to California, but it was so worth the trip. There wasn’t time to visit any other family members, and I really missed the wife and Shmoo, but it was so wonderful to spend some time with my grandparents.

Here’s a quick shot of my mother with her dad – how cute is he??

I absolutely adore my grandpa. It is hard watching someone who was always so full of life and energy deteriorate so much. I’m currently trying to work on some of his local representatives and the V.A. to look into more disability coverage for him. It’s an uphill battle.

The cool thing is that my grandparents found out that they both will be buried in Arlington.National.Cemetery. Let’s just hope it’s a while from now.

As for us, things are good.

The Shmoo

The Shmoo appears more and more like a boy instead of a baby every day. He’s mastered the rock wall climb on his Uncle Joe’s jungle gym. He’s talking more each day and is becoming even more independent (scary).

K – I finally sat down and started reading “Raising Your Spirited.Child” on the airplane to L.A. I haven’t completed it yet, but it’s amazing how the first chapter of the book I kept poking my mother and saying “this is Shmoo!” He is this amazing, gifted, fun and wonderful child. He’s “spirited”. He is that toddler that will throw a temper tantrum for an hour because you put the straw in his juice instead of letting him do it!

The Pregnancy

I am feeling better. I can’t make some bold announcement that I feel 100% better, because I still have many moments of stomach weirdness and lots of moments of acid reflux. But, for the most part, the 24/7 gagging/nausea/pukiness seems to have left the building.
I’m still tired. I want to force myself to get on the elliptical in the mornings, but I just can’t get my fat ass out of bed. Plus, I’m sleeping terribly. I need to find the body pillow we had for Lo’s pregnancy or just break down and buy a new one.

Now, there are things that books and your friends don’t always tell you about being pregnant. Lo looks at me funny sometimes when I ask her things too. Maybe she didn’t have some of the same symptoms, who knows.

One of the newest things is…how do I put it….crotch muscle pain. What the hell is this?

I sit at my desk all day long for my job and I’ve made an effort to get up and walk around as much as possible. But when I stand up, 95% of the time, I get this achy/pain in places that I didn’t know muscles or tendons even existed.

I should probably add “prenatal yoga” to my list of things to do (including the elliptical and my Wii Fit). I just need to find the energy to do these things. It doesn’t help that the only days I take off from work have not been and are not going to be “resting” days.

Oh well, I’m just going with the flow. I’ve accepted the fact that my body has been taken hostage and I’m solely just here for the ride.

11 Comments

thick

June 3, 2009 at 4:01 pm (Pregnant Holly)

I know my wife is trying to tell me things with all of the love in the world. But last night, she told me that I looked “thick.”

“Not fat, but kinda thick. I mean, you look pregnant. Everywhere.”

I did get some additional apologies and explanations from her that she meant I looked like I was definitely showing and that my ass, ribs and boobs were expanding as quickly as my belly. Thanks.

She’s right.

I feel thick. Everywhere.

(BTW – I might actually be starting to think this baby is a girl.)

And I would like to report that I might actually be feeling better. I actually had a non-cracker breakfast this morning. Yesterday was pretty rough, but I think it’s definitely tapering off a little.

The agita/heartburn/acid reflux thing appears to not be going away anytime soon. I do feel that vanilla milkshakes are a good cure for this.

Gee, I wonder why my ass is getting bigger??

I have been slightly overworked and under-rested lately and am taking a few days off from work. To rest? Not exactly.

I’m leaving the house at 4 am tomorrow to fly to Los Angeles, stay with my grandparents for Thursday night through 5 am Sunday morning, when I will be flying back home. Monday, I will be getting up around 5 am to play in and help run a 12 hour golf tournament/event. Then, Tuesday, it’s back to my glorious, stress-filled job. Yes, I don’t know how to relax, I guess.

I’ll probably be off-line from tonight for a week, unless I can blog surf the lesbian mommy blogs from my mom’s laptop when she’s not looking!

Maybe I’ll actually read a book while I’m away. I’m stuck between reading one of the last 3 Patricia Cornwell novels that I’ve missed, reading “Raising your Spirited Child” finally, bringing some continuing legal education work or just picking up a copy of “Are you there Vodka, it’s me Chelsea” Any thoughts?

10 Comments

Finding our peace

June 1, 2009 at 1:52 pm (GLBT Families)

It’s Blogging for LGBT Families Day!

Go to Mombian to join in the blogging!

June 1st totally and completely snuck up on me. I hope my blog friends have been more on top of the arrival of Blogging for LGBT Families Day and have already posted their messages!

The past year has been an amazing year for the LGBT community. As of today, same sex marriages are legal in 5 states (Maine, Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa) and several other states are “discussing” same sex marriage (New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire)

The debate in California is especially difficult based on the skewed referendum process allowing a small percentage of the population to take away basic rights of an entire community.

I know how incredibly lucky we are to have the legal protections that we do here in Connecticut. And we do not take that for granted. My wife and I have had the unfortunate experience of having to use the courts to prove my wife’s parental role and fight for their rights to maintain a relationship with one of their moms. That was 9 years ago. We were lucky, and Lo’s time with the girls (now almost 13) is extremely limited, but at least it’s something.

We are all aware of the hatred towards the LGBT put forth by extremists and we always cringe when we hear the “moderates” use what they deem to be rational arguments against gay marriage.

When we hear someone put forth religious arguments, we know that we cannot possibly convince that same person that our country was founded by revolutionaries that envisioned a government free from religion.

When we hear someone put forth arguments about the health, safety and well being of children being raised by a same-sex couple, we struggle to fight back anger and try to get this person to see how well-adjusted and amazing our children and families are.

I have met so many amazing gay families in my community and so many more through blogging. I had the extreme pleasure to meet some incredible families in SLC in person last year! We are all good people with wonderful children and loving homes. We all look around and see how family life should be for all children and cannot comprehend why anyone would think otherwise.

Ten years ago, I was struggling with who I was and what I was supposed to do with my life. During that year of extreme ups and downs and total confusion, I met this amazing woman who changed my life.

We have been through amazing challenges (law school, suing her ex for visitation, family struggles, etc) and incredible highs. Throughout, I sometimes wondered how things would be harder for us because we were a gay couple. I wondered if we could ever have what straight couples can have.

Somewhere in the middle of our life together, I realized that we could have it all.

We often joked about having your 100%. I know I’ve said this before. Sometimes, you are in a relationship and you may not be happy, but it is providing you with something else that you feel like you need – maybe you have 60%. Maybe you even have 75%.

With Lo, we both have our 100%. We knew we could be parents together, we knew we could be happy together and make each other laugh and balanced each other out. We can have it all, and we do have it all.

We are a nation of ‘want mores’ – we want more toys, we want more money, we want more fame. I used to always want more. (And trust me, I wouldn’t complain if we did have more money).

But now, I really get it. And I don’t want more. I have it all. So many of us do.

We have love, family, hope, faith, security, comfort. And I believe that those things are all stronger than hate and negativity.

Celebrate your family. Allow your faith and love to stay strong.

Peace.

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