2 Mommies and 2 Boys

It’s Blogging for LGBT Families Day!

Go to Mombian to join in the blogging!

June 1st totally and completely snuck up on me. I hope my blog friends have been more on top of the arrival of Blogging for LGBT Families Day and have already posted their messages!

The past year has been an amazing year for the LGBT community. As of today, same sex marriages are legal in 5 states (Maine, Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa) and several other states are “discussing” same sex marriage (New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire)

The debate in California is especially difficult based on the skewed referendum process allowing a small percentage of the population to take away basic rights of an entire community.

I know how incredibly lucky we are to have the legal protections that we do here in Connecticut. And we do not take that for granted. My wife and I have had the unfortunate experience of having to use the courts to prove my wife’s parental role and fight for their rights to maintain a relationship with one of their moms. That was 9 years ago. We were lucky, and Lo’s time with the girls (now almost 13) is extremely limited, but at least it’s something.

We are all aware of the hatred towards the LGBT put forth by extremists and we always cringe when we hear the “moderates” use what they deem to be rational arguments against gay marriage.

When we hear someone put forth religious arguments, we know that we cannot possibly convince that same person that our country was founded by revolutionaries that envisioned a government free from religion.

When we hear someone put forth arguments about the health, safety and well being of children being raised by a same-sex couple, we struggle to fight back anger and try to get this person to see how well-adjusted and amazing our children and families are.

I have met so many amazing gay families in my community and so many more through blogging. I had the extreme pleasure to meet some incredible families in SLC in person last year! We are all good people with wonderful children and loving homes. We all look around and see how family life should be for all children and cannot comprehend why anyone would think otherwise.

Ten years ago, I was struggling with who I was and what I was supposed to do with my life. During that year of extreme ups and downs and total confusion, I met this amazing woman who changed my life.

We have been through amazing challenges (law school, suing her ex for visitation, family struggles, etc) and incredible highs. Throughout, I sometimes wondered how things would be harder for us because we were a gay couple. I wondered if we could ever have what straight couples can have.

Somewhere in the middle of our life together, I realized that we could have it all.

We often joked about having your 100%. I know I’ve said this before. Sometimes, you are in a relationship and you may not be happy, but it is providing you with something else that you feel like you need – maybe you have 60%. Maybe you even have 75%.

With Lo, we both have our 100%. We knew we could be parents together, we knew we could be happy together and make each other laugh and balanced each other out. We can have it all, and we do have it all.

We are a nation of ‘want mores’ – we want more toys, we want more money, we want more fame. I used to always want more. (And trust me, I wouldn’t complain if we did have more money).

But now, I really get it. And I don’t want more. I have it all. So many of us do.

We have love, family, hope, faith, security, comfort. And I believe that those things are all stronger than hate and negativity.

Celebrate your family. Allow your faith and love to stay strong.

Peace.